DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS?

Ah the dreaded question that makes most men shudder..."Do I look fat? I do, don't I? I look like a big fat cow." Normally this question is just an argument waiting to happen, but I've come up with a few responses that will not only keep you out of hot water, they'll actually give your girlfriend the impression that you're pretty savy in the fashion department.

1) It makes you look bigger than you are.
Why it works: She doesn't make the clothes look fat, it's whatever she's wearing that makes her look fat. Therefore she's skinnier than she thinks.

2) It's too busy...you're not wearing the clothes the clothes are wearing you.
Why it works: You are totally deflecting any weight conversation whatsoever. You are, however;saying that whatever floral or stripe or print pattern she has on just isn't flattering, even if it does look 3 sizes too small.

3) The fit is fine but the color totally washes you out. You should wear something that plays up your eyes/hair/rosy complexion more...
Why it works: Not only are you offering weight free criticism, you're also passing a compliment.

4) The fabric is cheap, which is why it doesn't hug you in all the right places.
Why it works: Once again you're blaming the clothes AND telling her that clothes should hug her, even though she might think she needs a paper bag.

5) You don't seem like you love it, so I don't think you should wear it. You should only wear things you feel amazing in.
Why it works: It's all about making her feel amazing, which you just did. Remember, it's not about HER, it's about the CLOTHES.

6) It's too frumpy and worn looking. You should buy yourself something new.
Why it Works: If she has an old stand by that isn't fitting the way it used to and looks like it's going to burst at the seams, just tell her she's too young and beautiful to wear something so old and frumpy. Then encourage shopping. You can't go wrong.


What not to say:

Yes, that does make you look fat.
Ugh, you're not gonna go change again are you?
Huh? I don't know. Who cares? Who do you have to impress?
Can we just go already?
If you think you're fat join a gym.
No, you're thin.

As you can see, when it comes to weight, just don't go there. Don't tell her she's fat, don't try and convince her she's thin. It's just not going to work. Comment on the clothes. Remember, it's a lot healthier to hate a dress than to hate yourself.