seriously...what is this?

Vanessa Hudgens,
What ARE you wearing? Hollister sweats, an off-the- shoulder 80's top and Robin Hood booties? COME ON! You look downright silly...like a silly billy gumdrop! No wonder you're hiding!

Let's try something else shall we?


For something sporty and casual, try This Shopbop.com
hoodie for $26.40 and these track shorts for $17.70.

Shoe wise, try a cute lil sneaker a la these little cutie pies
from DSW ($29.95).





If you want a laid back, casual boho look, try a cute little dress ($44.00) or something like it ($34.00) Pair with an adorable floral print scarf ($9.50) or a stripy ombre one ($12.50)


Shoe wise, I'd probably go with a nice Grecian Sandle ($34.99) or something a bit chunkier ($39.99)

Now add some cool shades ($9.50) and a fun bag ($14.99) and you're all set!


Now isn't that better?

LET'S GET THE LOOK FOR LESS!

Let's get this fabulous runway/fall ready look for much much less than it costs. Shall we?

GAP Striped Button Cut Tee $38.00

Urban Outfitters Lux Horizon Sweater $24.99

Forever21 3Q Cuffed Jacket $24.80

Forever21 Charlize Cotton Jacket $24.80


Banana Republic Short Sleeve Woven Suit Jacket $150.00

Urban Outfitters BDG Skipper Hi Rise Slim Jean $64.00

Forever21 Fab Denim Capri $12.50

Macy's Bandolino "Julieanna2" Peep Toe Wedge $36.22


DSW Rampage Loren Patent Peep Toe Pump $24.94

please stop trying to dress like celebrities

Dear Celebrities,

Please stop dressing like idiots. Though completely loaded and full of assistants and stylists and hair and makeup people, you continue to disappoint us with your trashiness. Take for instance, Victoria Beckham, seen here in this zebra debacle. Her Andy Warhol hair is practically the same color as the white stripes on the dress, and tanorexic skin screams OOMPA OOMPA DOOPA DEE DOO. I especially love the pink cleavage border...maybe they should've used some of the extra pink fabric around the edge of the skirt to add, oh i don't know, six inches or so? YOU'RE AN OLD MOM! GET OVER YOURSELF! YOU'RE NOT 16! YOU SHOULDN'T BE MAKING THESE MISTAKES!








Ah yes, Sienna Miller, who for some reason, has sworn off pants.
Hey Sienna, you're young and hip, nobody can deny that, but that's no reason to show us your hips. PUT SOME FRIGGIN PANTS ON! Perhaps I'm being too hard on you...maybe you have an overactive bladder that causes you to need to use the bathroom every few minutes or so....it's a convenience thing right? Maybe that's why you're so thin? You don't retain any water? Put some pants on already.

Oh look it's Grandma...I mean Mary Kate Olsen. Mary Kate, you're in your 20s not your 90s. Your hair looks like a used mop and those lips, ugh! I'm sure you love to suck on things, bet you're like a big ol'vaccuum, but the sour pouter look is dreadful. And what the HELL is with that jacket. What are you like a superhero

or something with spiky arms to fight off your enemies? Take off the sunglasses and look at yourself in the mirror. Put on something that fits, something young and cute like you used to be.

Heidi, Heidi, Heidi...you're collection is trash, you don't have the body to pull off that God awful jersey shore clubbin look, your hair is trash. Buy a dumpster, and put everything that you are, know and love in it, because guess what....it's trash.

And last but not least....

Dear any celebrity at a swanky awards show/event:

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STOP TRYING TO BE AN ATTENTION WHORE AND RISK LOOKING LIKE AN IDIOT! IF IT WORKS ON THE RUNWAY, CHANCES ARE, IT WON'T WORK ON YOU...YOU WANNA KNOW WHY???? BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT ALL 6'1 AND 95LBS! Runway does not, I repeat does not mean it's red carpet ready. Don't you have families and people who love you? You'd think they'd say gee Gemma Ward,

gee Eva Mendes, you really look like imbiciles in those outfits. Maybe change into something that doesn't look like it belongs on a homeless person (a la Gemma) or Golden Girl Rue Mclanahan (a la Eva). Stop botoxing and getting plastic surgery right before major events, (yes I specifically mean you Rose McGowan)

You wanna start a trend???? Good! Start the trend that you'll only wear things that are flattering and look good on you and don't make you look like a Vegas Showgirl or a snake or a poodle or an overaccessorized Halloween Costume. You, your managers, your stylists, your publicists, you're all told old for this. Once again, it's not rocket science, just wear what looks good. You wear the outfit, don't let the outfit wear you!

BOTKIER FOR TARGET

SERIOUSLY! Target bags are some of the greatest most affordable bags EVER CREATED! When you see the new Botkier line you'll understand exactly what I mean.

CLICK HERE to see EXACTLY what i'm talking about.


I'm an especially big fan of THIS ONE

GET THE LOOK FOR LESS

A walk on the bright side at Shipley & Halmos.
This sunny yellow dress paired with a cute lil cardigan, patent leather belt and shoes, and black stockings is awfully cute and awfully expensive.

Let's see if we can get the look for less...shall we?

Tiered Skirt Minidress for $17.80











Victoria's Secret Strapless Bra Tube Dress for $38.oo








Gap Grey and White Striped elbow-sleeve cardigan for$44.00.





Long-sleeve crewneck cardigan Now $48.30 from $69.00.




Steve Madden Womens Reilly Pump List Price: $99.95
Sale Price:$54.90
Priscilla Patent Belt for $7.80





SUCCESS!!!

Net-a-Porter

For those of you who are fashionably inclined and have a little extra change lying around, I give you Net-A-Porter.

This website is basically like style.com on a budget...a very large budget...but a budget nonetheless. It's got every major designer label from across the globe. If you can actually afford to buy something from this site, make sure you note the sizing, as many of the sizes are actually European ( there are conversion charts available on the site).

I especially like that they put each piece together on a mannequin with available accessories. For instance, if you like this Stella McCartney Fine knit sweater dress Stella McCartney Fine knit sweater dress, try pairing it with Stella McCartney boots, a Chloé bag and a Philippe Audibert bracelet. And sometimes, seeing a piece on the mannequin can actually take away some of it's appeal, because it if doesn't fit a 92lb solid white figure with disproportionately big boobs, it certainly won't fit me.

it's good to know people

My friend Lisa just told me about a faaabulous site called retailmenot.com. It has coupons for practically everything you need in life. The clothing coupons include Victoria's Secret, Banana Republic, American Eagle Outfitters, Old Navy, ShopBop, Urban Outfitters and many many more. Here's the link

I looooove it!

DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS?

Ah the dreaded question that makes most men shudder..."Do I look fat? I do, don't I? I look like a big fat cow." Normally this question is just an argument waiting to happen, but I've come up with a few responses that will not only keep you out of hot water, they'll actually give your girlfriend the impression that you're pretty savy in the fashion department.

1) It makes you look bigger than you are.
Why it works: She doesn't make the clothes look fat, it's whatever she's wearing that makes her look fat. Therefore she's skinnier than she thinks.

2) It's too busy...you're not wearing the clothes the clothes are wearing you.
Why it works: You are totally deflecting any weight conversation whatsoever. You are, however;saying that whatever floral or stripe or print pattern she has on just isn't flattering, even if it does look 3 sizes too small.

3) The fit is fine but the color totally washes you out. You should wear something that plays up your eyes/hair/rosy complexion more...
Why it works: Not only are you offering weight free criticism, you're also passing a compliment.

4) The fabric is cheap, which is why it doesn't hug you in all the right places.
Why it works: Once again you're blaming the clothes AND telling her that clothes should hug her, even though she might think she needs a paper bag.

5) You don't seem like you love it, so I don't think you should wear it. You should only wear things you feel amazing in.
Why it works: It's all about making her feel amazing, which you just did. Remember, it's not about HER, it's about the CLOTHES.

6) It's too frumpy and worn looking. You should buy yourself something new.
Why it Works: If she has an old stand by that isn't fitting the way it used to and looks like it's going to burst at the seams, just tell her she's too young and beautiful to wear something so old and frumpy. Then encourage shopping. You can't go wrong.


What not to say:

Yes, that does make you look fat.
Ugh, you're not gonna go change again are you?
Huh? I don't know. Who cares? Who do you have to impress?
Can we just go already?
If you think you're fat join a gym.
No, you're thin.

As you can see, when it comes to weight, just don't go there. Don't tell her she's fat, don't try and convince her she's thin. It's just not going to work. Comment on the clothes. Remember, it's a lot healthier to hate a dress than to hate yourself.

Old Navy

I present to you, the online clearance section of Old Navy. Some people kinda scheev the Nav', but I'm a big fan for basic tops and comfy pants, a la sweats and leggings. I looove the rib tanks they are so easy to layer without looking/feeling heavy. And let me TELL you about the shoooes and the baaaaaaaaags! Old Navy has probably some of the cutest/cheapest bags I have ever encountered in my entire adult life. Just look at this little ditty

The shoes are pretty great too, and actually quite comfy. I've never tried the heels, but I have a few pairs of flats and sandals and have yet to encounter a blister. The necklaces and bracelets are OK, I'm not the hugest fan, but they get the job done. For your pleasure, here's the

bag/shoe/accessories page

I've also decided to include the clearance page below. If you're poor like me and need discounts on discount clothing,


this is for you...

Great lil' tees and tanks and pjs. Stay away from the shorts if you have a butt like me...they tend to do that weird too big in the back but too small on the thighs thing....I really really love the skinny capris, (think really comfy leggings) lounge shorts (perfect for lounging on a hot summer day) and Women's Laser-Cut Hipster Underwear (SOOOOO comfortable and only $4 each if you buy 3).


Now it's time for my BUYER BEWARE warning. It can't all be bells and whistles folks! Discount clothing is bound to have a few glitches.
First off, stay away from the bra's as the padding falls out after a couple of washes and they aren't that comfortable! Unfortunately, when it comes to supporting the girls, you gotta pay big bucks to get good results.

I'm not really a huge fan of the online hoodies either. I found some cute ones in the clearance racks at Old Navy at only $10/piece. Another word to the wise, stay away from the lycra blend white tops and the shelf (built-in-bra) tanks. They are COMPLETELY see through I HATE that! However, the cotton blend shirts are fine and actually quite adorable.

Last but not least, the big earrings...VERY VERY VERY heavy...and kinda cheap looking!

So that's my Old Navy rant. Thoughts? Comments? Questions? Concerns?

My Goals in Life

I can't afford much. I'm 24, in an entry level position, and I have thousands of dollars in student loans to pay off. I'm far from frivolous with my money...I don't go to fancy restaurants or take lavish and exotic vacations, I'm not an impulse buyer and I still live at home with my family. Alas, my one and only vice is fashion. I wish I could shop every day of my life, and buy every bag and shoe that the good Lord put on this earth. I have dreams about running through the shoe department at Macy's Herald Square. I think heaven is a big fancy department store where everything is designer and it's all free, and those stupid jerks who spray the latest J.LO perfume on you are actually holding delicious trays of cookies and cupcakes...I digress....What I'm trying to say is, I'm sick of all the magazines and all the department stores and all the morning talk shows who try to convince you that something is "cheap" or a "steal" when it's like $200. I'm not even going to spend $50 on a shirt, let alone one that's $200 and will probably be out of style next season. I also hate all those "cheap" fashion websites that try to sell you polyester-acryllic blend everything and hooker heels that only really trashy girls and cougars buy to attract drunk guys.
So I'm not here to sell you anything. I just want to make your life and mine a little easier. My hope is to create a forum for the fashionista on a budget. I want to be the town crier for every sale and clearance rack in every shopping mall across the country! I hope that others will share their 1/2 off experiences and discount designer finds. If we all work together, we can all save a buck or two, and look fabulous doing so.